The start of a new year is always a time of reflection. For many, that includes taking stock of their closest relationship, which means renewing commitments are committing to change.

Business Insider’s holiday lists included 7 common reasons for divorce. Such variations of Top 10 lists generate lots of traffic. But when it comes to reasons for divorce, we really can boil it down to just a few common causes.

While observational studies have been conducted for decades, an increasing body of research is using today’s connected technologies to simply ask people why their marriage ended. Psychology Today published a report last year that compiled numerous similar studies. One surveyed couples that divorced between 1980 and 1997. Top reasons couples called it quits were infidelity, incompatibility, drinking or drug use and growing apart. Other surveys noted domestic violence, too much arguing, lack of common interests, different lifestyles, and verbal or emotional abuse.

Top Reasons for Divorce in New Jersey

Our divorce lawyers in Middlesex County see largely the same reasons couples split, and know it usually comes down to a few key issues:

Infidelity: Cheating is a primary reason people end a relationship. It was identified as a Top 3 cause in each study reviewed by Psychology Today. In some cases, the cheater decides to make the leap to a new life. In other cases, a spouse decided the betrayal must end the union.

Money problems: Today’s economy often requires two working spouses who are committed to building financial security. A spouse’s spending habits, financial dishonesty (another form of infidelity), job loss, job relocation or promotion, or even an injury or disability, can result in financial tension that leads to divorce.

Lack of communication: Growing apart. Focusing disproportionately on career or childcare. Not sharing with your partner. If your partner is not your best friend, you may be headed for trouble.

Incompatibility: Lack of communication can lead to incompatibility but not always. Neither spouse is the same person after 20 or 30 years of marriage. Differing interests and hobbies and different ideas about retirement can result in incompatibility issues.

Mental health: Drug and alcohol dependence, domestic violence and abuse, depression, anger-management issues, and other unaddressed or systemic mental-health issues can result in divorce.

Grounds for New Jersey Divorce

For the most part your reasons for divorce are a private matter under New Jersey law. New Jersey is considered a “no-fault” state. Grounds for a no-fault divorce will be listed as “irreconcilable differences.” NJSA 2A:34-10 requires at least one party to a divorce be a New Jersey resident for at least 12 months before filing.

However, that doesn’t mean a spouse’s bad behavior will not be a critical factor when it comes to division of property, support and child-custody issues. And New Jersey law does still permit filing for divorce under one or more of the fault-based grounds that existed before state enactment of irreconcilable differences.

Fault-based grounds under New Jersey law (N.J.S.2A:34-2):

• Extreme cruelty
• Desertion
• Addiction
• Imprisonment
• Institutionalization
• Deviant sexual conduct

We have written a lot about planning for divorce. You can read other recent articles on this blog and contact our office for a free and confidential consultation. Proper planning can best help build your new life on a strong foundation.