Many unhappy couples choose to stay in a marriage for the good of the children. But a new report by Huffington Post suggests children of parents who divorce as soon as they leave home may not be spared the emotional hardships.

And children living in a bad marriage may suffer more harm than those whose parents choose to split. As Psychology Today reports, numerous studies have shown most children of divorce show no long-term effects on social skills, grades, self-esteem or life satisfaction.

What is most critical to child development is having support in childhood, including a good relationship with both parents or primary caregivers. Children most benefit from having emotionally stable parents with the energy to focus on parenting, emotional support, fair discipline, and home stability.

In cases where parents believe they agree, a Monmouth County family law attorney can help create a parenting plan that will last into your child’s early adulthood, reducing the chances of future disagreements and/or court proceedings. In cases where parents can’t agree, we can help take the emotions out of the equation and work on an agreement between both parties, which provides more control over the final outcome than leaving critical decisions in the hands of the court. 

Advice for Divorcing Parents

Psychology Today offers newly single parents a number of success strategies:

• Eliminate parental conflict in front of the children.
• Establish new routines that bring structure and stability.
• Create positive moments and outside opportunities for engagement.
• Take care of yourself and your own mental health.

The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy offers advice to parents on sharing divorce news with children:

• Tell children together, and communicate honestly.
• Develop a workable parenting plan.
• Avoid arguing in front of the children.
• Avoid using the children to communicate with a former spouse or obtain information.
• Don’t speak negatively about the other parent, and encourage the parental relationship.

Child Custody Legal Help in New Jersey

Agreeing to a comprehensive parenting plan is most critical to amicable parenting after a New Jersey divorce. Our Monmouth County divorce lawyers know splitting couples who think they can continue to parent by mutual agreement may be doing themselves as much of a disservice as those who use child-custody and support issues as leverage in a divorce.

Too often, divorcing couples that think they agree and can maintain a working relationship fail to develop a plan for contingencies. Co-parenting is relatively easy when there is agreement. It is failure to plan for moments of contention and disagreement that can lead to long-lasting resentment.

Who will pay for an emergency appendectomy? Who will make critical life-care decisions in the event of an emergency? Who pays for orthodontics and summer camp? What if one of you decides to move out of state?

New Jersey Courts offer parents a wealth of information on how custody and parenting time is determined and how conflicts are remedied. The parenting plan you submit to the court should be comprehensive, including an outline of how contingency and emergency plans will be determined.

Call Rozin|Golinder Law, LLC today for a free and confidential consultation.