Divorcing a narcissist can be a difficult journey. The psychological stress that narcissistic spouses tend to exert over their partners can be overwhelming and terrifying, which is only made worse during the divorce process. Narcissists typically feel the need to be in complete control of everything in their lives, especially marital finances. Without being properly prepared, one could face financial disaster if a narcissist successfully controls the outcome of the divorce. Below our compassionate and skilled New Jersey divorce attorneys provide information and tips on protecting your financial future while divorcing a narcissist.
How Narcissists Use Money to Control Their Marriage
Because someone with a narcissistic personality is predisposed to having a grandiose sense of entitlement, they often believe they should be the one in control of every aspect of their marriage, including finances. If they know that their spouse wants a divorce, this may feel like they are losing control of everything. In return, this pushes them to do everything they can to gain control of the situation.
Frequently this is through manipulation tactics to get back at their ex. One way for a narcissist to gain control in a divorce is to try to prevent their spouse from receiving their share of support and assets in the divorce. This is done for many reasons. One: to get revenge on their spouse, and two: make their spouse feel like they are unable to survive without their security.
A controlling spouse may try to control finances by doing the following:
- Hiding assets;
- Giving a small amount of money as an allowance;
- Making their spouse account for and explain every purchase they make;
- Making their spouse sign legal paperwork, like a postnuptial agreement, without explaining what it entails;
- Stealing their spouse’s money or paychecks;
- Preventing or sabotaging their spouse’s career from advancing;
- Prohibiting their spouse from using credit or debit cards, writing checks, or accessing marital accounts; and
- Gambling away their spouse’s money.
When narcissists employ these tactics, their spouses can be left with little to no support, making them feel like they need the narcissist in order to survive. If a spouse decides to seek a divorce from the narcissist, they will need to create a strategic plan that protects their financial freedom.
Secure Additional Income
A narcissist is not afraid to use manipulation and deceit to get what they want in a divorce. This often leads to long-drawn-out court battles. In order to prepare for the journey ahead, it is ideal to save up funds for yourself and make sure to have good credit in your own name, away from your spouse.
Get Copies of Financial Documents
To delay the divorce process, a narcissist may refuse to give over financial or legal documents to the Court. While this is illegal and eventually the information will need to be provided to the Court, it could prevent the divorce from moving forward. To prevent this from occurring, it is in your best interest to make copies of any financial documents you can get a hold of. Do not let your spouse know that you are doing this, or they may try to alter them or ensure that you do not have access to them. Once they are secured, give them to your divorce attorney for safe-keeping.
Seek Out a Skilled Family Law Attorney
One of the most critical things you can do to protect yourself and your finances is to work with an experienced New Jersey family law attorney. The right attorney will have the resources to discover hidden or undervalued assets and the skill to represent your case in Court thoroughly.
At Rozin | Golinder Law, we see the impact divorce has on our clients and understand how overwhelming the process can be. Our compassionate attorneys will always be there to walk you through every step of your divorce. You are not alone in this, and we will do everything in our power to protect your best interests by creating a unique strategy that best fits your goals.
Rozin | Golinder Law is here for you. Call (732) 810-0034 to speak to one of our skilled divorce attorneys today.