It’s a well-recognized “dirty tactic” in some New Jersey divorces: Refusing to grant a religious divorce unless or until certain civil dissolution demands are met. Now, a recent ruling by the New Jersey Appellate Court undercuts this underhanded strategy.
Civil vs. Religious Divorces
We should start by explaining that the process for religious divorce is separate from the process for civil divorce. That’s because a “civil” marriage and “religious” marriage are two different things. Lots of people are married in purely civil ceremonies, by a judge, mayor or other legally-recognized officiant. But it’s also common for people to participate in religious marriage ceremonies, officiated by priests, rabbis, pastors, imams, etc. These can be legally recognized as well, but it means the couple is essentially married in the eyes of God as well as man. And as our East Brunswick divorce lawyers can explain, it’s this fact that can result in complications if the union falls apart.
A state court’s ruling to dissolve a marriage is recognized as a civil divorce, meaning the divorce is legal in the eyes of the government. But depending on the pair’s religious beliefs, that may have little bearing on the religious marriage.
One example is a Jewish divorce, known as a “get.” In Judaism, a religious divorce is only possible when a husband grants the wife a “get,” which enables the wife to remarry and has religious implications for any future children she bears.
Because of the sizable consequences of not getting a get, the husband may have considerable bargaining power. This, unfortunately, has been used to compel favorable civil divorce terms. That’s exactly what happened in the case of S.B.B. v. L.B.B. before the New Jersey Superior Court.
New Jersey Appellate Court Ruling in Jewish Divorce Case
The recent New Jersey Appellate Court ruling has been touted a victory for both women’s rights and free speech, and shines a spotlight on a big problem with religious divorces.
According to court records, the pair were married nearly 20 years when they separated in 2019. Two years into the divorce process, the wife made a video in which she alleged her husband was improperly refusing her a “get.” In the recording, which was sent to a rabbinical judge, she asked the community to press her husband to grant her a religious divorce.
The video somehow became public. The husband was then bombarded with demands from strangers to grant the get.
The husband then filed for a restraining order, alleging domestic violence and telling the trial judge he feared violent retribution from the religious community for withholding the get. He also denied withholding the get, saying he gave it to a rabbi the year before.
The trial judge, citing the video, granted the restraining order - which included a provision barring both of them from posting on social media. The Court also ordered the wife to pay the husband $10k+ in compensatory damages. The wife appealed after the trial judge denied her request for reconsideration - with the backing of the A.C.L.U. of New Jersey, which argued the provision restricting social media posting, in particular, was unconstitutional.
In her appeal, a rabbi provided testimony indicating that husbands sometimes withhold a get as a means to extort the wife. The court was provided evidence showing the husband texted the wife in 2020, saying he would not sign a get unless she signed his requested terms of the divorce settlement agreement. The rabbi explained that in some cases, invoking public outrage or sympathy might be a woman’s only means of compelling a husband to grant a religious divorce.
The Appellate Court reversed - and revoked the order for compensatory damages. The Court held that the wife’s purpose for making the video in the first place was “unquestionably legitimate.” The Judges noted there were no threats nor anything to indicate the wife intended to put the husband’s safety at risk. The video was protected by free speech (which includes the right to invoke social pressure and implore others to take lawful action), and could not be used as a basis for a restraining order.
As our East Brunswick divorce attorneys can explain, these videos are simply a technologically advanced means of a process that’s been around a long time. In this case, the wife was able to ultimately obtain both a religious divorce and a civil divorce. It’s important that if you are working toward both a civil divorce and a religious divorce that you hire a divorce lawyer who understands the importance of both and will work strategically toward the most favorable outcome.
Call our New Jersey divorce attorneys at (732) 810-0034 or use our online form to request your free & confidential consultation!